She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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