He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize