90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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