i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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