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Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
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