I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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