So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize