I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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