the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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