my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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