I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize