12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
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He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
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Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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