someone get that fucking seahorse.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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