Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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