I bet he comes in French.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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