I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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