Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
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I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
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I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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