If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
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You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
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I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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