Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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