I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize