Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
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Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
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I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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