There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize