My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
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I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I have grass duct taped all over my body
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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