there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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