Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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