please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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