Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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