i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize