Who wears a wallet chain?!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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