mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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