Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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