Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize