Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
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I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
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But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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