at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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