i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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