We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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