ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
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Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
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there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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