He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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