i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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