rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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