totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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