Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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