If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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