she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize