Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Your penis caused this!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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