Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize