Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize