Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
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I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
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I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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