My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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