party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
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I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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